Lexicon of Stupidity

"Hiding behind a deceptive ballot label, they began with a big lead. But under the bright glare of public scrutiny, they learned once again that Californians won't be tricked by a power grab masquerading as reform." - Lou Paulson

Oh my crap, I know that these people feel compelled to come out and show that the cause that they have convinced themselves is "of the purest intentions" has been proven by Justice, but come on. Even the delusional schizos at the clinic just noticed their BS meters go off.

All I have ever known of politics has been "power grabs masquerading as reform". I thought that in the definition.

pol•i•tics (pol-i-tiks) n. The art or science of power grabs masquerading as reform, especially the governing of a political entity, such as a nation, and the administration and control of its internal and external affairs.

What is wrong with people who don’t know how to merge? Merging is like zipping up your pants. Each car is like a tooth in the zipper. I realize that zippers are a relatively new form of fastening things, but in the 100 or so years that they have been around most people have gotten the basic gist of it. Merging has been around since horse and buggies, so why is it so hard for some people to figure out. And what is going through their minds when they decide to try and edge out that next car. “If I can just get in front of this guy I bet traffic will open up.”
My favorites are the people who try to get around the tractor-trailers. “Good call!” Lets weigh the Pros vs. Cons. Pro – if you make it you get to wherever you are going approximately 3 seconds sooner, plus or minus. Con – if you don’t make it 30 tons of big-rig is going to run your “Mach 5” over. I leave the decision up to you.

Ok, what is wrong with the people who think it is ok to whistle into the phone while I am working.

I do a decent amount of work with someone waiting on the other end of the line. Every so often, not too regularly, some will get a little ditty stuck in their head and decide that they should share. I have one small problem with that, they whistle directly into the microphone of their phone. This produces a sound roughly equivalent of the sound a fax makes when it dials your phone number. I know they can hear it too, we have those new fangled "Full Duplex" phones, so they can hear the dying cat sounds they are creating. But instead of stopping when they realize how terrible it sounds they modulate the sound. What are they thinking? "If I can blow across the mic in just the right way I bet it will sound like I have drums in my mouth." Just a little heads up, unless your legal name has been changed to include the prefix "MC" or some phonetic equivalent, "beat box whistling" is probably not a performance art you should pursue.

Now don’t get me wrong, whistling is great! I personally love it. However, it has its proper time and place. (Filler when you cant remember the words to song on the radio, catcalls and driving people crazy on airplanes.) So if you find yourself on the phone and a happy little tune pops into your head, please do the rest of us a favor and bite your lip till the call is over.