Conspiracy Theory

The social elites are trying to keep this brother down though jealousy and envy. I see cars I want on the road and houses I need on the other side of town. I could just sit here and complain about it, but instead I decided to do something about it.

My plan, like all good plans, is both complicated and simple. The key to no longer wanting what other people have is to make the stuff other people have crappy. For example if you see a car you like, mess it up a little. You will find that you no longer want that car because of the headache of getting it fixed and the even bigger headache of keeping punks, like yourself, from messing it up after it is fixed. Viola! You are cured of your envious desire for that car. You can move on. Patient heal thyself!

I cannot entirely take credit for this amazing advance in the human psyche. I was inspired by truly advanced places like South Central Los Angeles. There isn't a desirable thing for miles. They truly honed their art via a revolution of guerrilla artists and scalawags known affectionately as "taggers". Truly they have made even the ground people walk fabulously on un-desirable. Kudos to their out of the box thinking.

As this thought process catches on (how could it not) more people will aid you in your quest to rid the world of things that cause you to envy. You will no longer feel the need to strive for "the cheese" in a sea of things no one could care less about. If we all strive for greatness (or perhaps un-greatness) in this one area we could remake the whole world in this image. Just imagine it an entire world full of nothing worth desiring. A world where we all can live together in fully equal dystopian bliss.

I believe that the so called “third parties” in a presidential election are actually a conspiracy to identify people who dissent from the main stream opinions. Obviously the Republi-crats all have the same agenda. They are barely distinguishable as separate people much less separate parties.

The third party candidates are all cued in on things people care about. (Especially things people are not told to care about, but care about any way.) By doing this the government can identify citizens who have hitched their wagon to these unapproved political points.

So what is the point of all of this? Political control? Hardly! Has your “elected official” ever changed any thing in any way that you are aware of. Politics are all controlled by an Alien super computer that was brought to earth 60 million years ago to direct interstellar traffic. Kind of like a galactic stoplight. It accidentally started life on this planet (now you know) and then figured it better control the political area so things didn’t get out of hand.

Third parties are actually a privately funded focus group put on by the “government” that allows marketers to get their hands on lists of “voters” categorized via the third party that they vote for. Don’t believe me, vote third party and see what happens.

After many months of blissful ignorance, I have returned to both this site and my wits. The puppet government set up by the aliens who now control our world (an use it as an intergalactic tourist trap) were using a mind altering devise to prevent me from perceiving their unsavory plots around the planet.

Thanks to an accidental tin foil hatting and brief concurrent electrical shock my brainwaves have been altered just enough to prevent their insidious device from being effective. I now feel compelled to broadcast the truth while I still have my own powers of observation and perception available. Surely this will alert and annoy my mental captors, but no matter, the truth must be revealed!

I am developing and testing a blocking mechanism that, I hope will keep me permanently shielded. Based on a rotating combination of television, radio, cell pone and microwave radiation, this devise, which I call a tele-rad-cell-crowave©®™ (patent pending) has proven effective at thought shielding. Though the device is quite bulky, its protection is worth the compacted vertebra. It also makes a mean burrito in under 30 seconds.

Even now the twisted alien puppet government schemes are be coming clearer to me. The shade has been pulled away from the looking glass all that is left is to jump in.

In an evil attempt to reduce the size of the population an there by make them easier to control big business has hatched a scheme to kill consumers. Their plan is to add a compound of chlorine, the same chemical used in instantaneously deadly chlorine gas, to everyday consumable goods. They know that we will eat anything without looking at the ingredients or having those ingredients tested by our own third-party independent lab.

Early experiments with this compound have shown that, when introuduced into the ground, it can kill most any vegetation. Other observations have shown that high quantities of this compound mixed with dihydrogen monoxide or DHMO* can even kill hardy aquatic life, leading to "Dead Lakes and Seas". This option is always considered a last resort, but it has been used in a few situations with extreme results.

This compound, also known as Halite, has the chemical structure NaCl. The "Cl" part at the end stands for the Chlorine I mentioned earlier. Be on the lookout, it may already be in many of your groceries hidden under the misleading name of "sodium chloride".

*For more information about DHMO please visit the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division

China is at it again, first walls, then communism, now Avian Influenza. But is it really China trying to control their population explosion through disease or are they simply pawns in a much larger game of chess? An under-respected source has given me the inside info that Avian Influenza (Avian Flu) is in fact a cog in a plot by major pharmaceutical manufacturers to increase their failing profit margins.

What could be more profitable to cold and flu "medicine" makers than another flu season? It is bad enough that the cure to the flu has been kept secret from all but the super rich and powerful all these years, (I think we have all noticed that for all the hands politicians shake they never seem to get sick.) but to create a whole new flu just to add another flu season. That is simply unacceptable.