Conspiracy Theory

In an evil attempt to reduce the size of the population an there by make them easier to control big business has hatched a scheme to kill consumers. Their plan is to add a compound of chlorine, the same chemical used in instantaneously deadly chlorine gas, to everyday consumable goods. They know that we will eat anything without looking at the ingredients or having those ingredients tested by our own third-party independent lab.

Early experiments with this compound have shown that, when introuduced into the ground, it can kill most any vegetation. Other observations have shown that high quantities of this compound mixed with dihydrogen monoxide or DHMO* can even kill hardy aquatic life, leading to "Dead Lakes and Seas". This option is always considered a last resort, but it has been used in a few situations with extreme results.

This compound, also known as Halite, has the chemical structure NaCl. The "Cl" part at the end stands for the Chlorine I mentioned earlier. Be on the lookout, it may already be in many of your groceries hidden under the misleading name of "sodium chloride".

*For more information about DHMO please visit the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division