Conspiracy Theory

After many months of blissful ignorance, I have returned to both this site and my wits. The puppet government set up by the aliens who now control our world (an use it as an intergalactic tourist trap) were using a mind altering devise to prevent me from perceiving their unsavory plots around the planet.

Thanks to an accidental tin foil hatting and brief concurrent electrical shock my brainwaves have been altered just enough to prevent their insidious device from being effective. I now feel compelled to broadcast the truth while I still have my own powers of observation and perception available. Surely this will alert and annoy my mental captors, but no matter, the truth must be revealed!

I am developing and testing a blocking mechanism that, I hope will keep me permanently shielded. Based on a rotating combination of television, radio, cell pone and microwave radiation, this devise, which I call a tele-rad-cell-crowave©®™ (patent pending) has proven effective at thought shielding. Though the device is quite bulky, its protection is worth the compacted vertebra. It also makes a mean burrito in under 30 seconds.

Even now the twisted alien puppet government schemes are be coming clearer to me. The shade has been pulled away from the looking glass all that is left is to jump in.