Conspiracy Theory

The social elites are trying to keep this brother down though jealousy and envy. I see cars I want on the road and houses I need on the other side of town. I could just sit here and complain about it, but instead I decided to do something about it.

My plan, like all good plans, is both complicated and simple. The key to no longer wanting what other people have is to make the stuff other people have crappy. For example if you see a car you like, mess it up a little. You will find that you no longer want that car because of the headache of getting it fixed and the even bigger headache of keeping punks, like yourself, from messing it up after it is fixed. Viola! You are cured of your envious desire for that car. You can move on. Patient heal thyself!

I cannot entirely take credit for this amazing advance in the human psyche. I was inspired by truly advanced places like South Central Los Angeles. There isn't a desirable thing for miles. They truly honed their art via a revolution of guerrilla artists and scalawags known affectionately as "taggers". Truly they have made even the ground people walk fabulously on un-desirable. Kudos to their out of the box thinking.

As this thought process catches on (how could it not) more people will aid you in your quest to rid the world of things that cause you to envy. You will no longer feel the need to strive for "the cheese" in a sea of things no one could care less about. If we all strive for greatness (or perhaps un-greatness) in this one area we could remake the whole world in this image. Just imagine it an entire world full of nothing worth desiring. A world where we all can live together in fully equal dystopian bliss.

I believe that the so called “third parties” in a presidential election are actually a conspiracy to identify people who dissent from the main stream opinions. Obviously the Republi-crats all have the same agenda. They are barely distinguishable as separate people much less separate parties.

The third party candidates are all cued in on things people care about. (Especially things people are not told to care about, but care about any way.) By doing this the government can identify citizens who have hitched their wagon to these unapproved political points.

So what is the point of all of this? Political control? Hardly! Has your “elected official” ever changed any thing in any way that you are aware of. Politics are all controlled by an Alien super computer that was brought to earth 60 million years ago to direct interstellar traffic. Kind of like a galactic stoplight. It accidentally started life on this planet (now you know) and then figured it better control the political area so things didn’t get out of hand.

Third parties are actually a privately funded focus group put on by the “government” that allows marketers to get their hands on lists of “voters” categorized via the third party that they vote for. Don’t believe me, vote third party and see what happens.